continuing the "undignified" theme....

I just had some fun putting this silliness together.

(It expires sometime in January 2011, so apologies to anyone reading this after that date)

Merry Christmas!

undignified

so I had my last swimming lesson for the year this evening.... 

I have to say that swimming lessons have been a massive challenge. As an overweight woman in her 40's, the idea of being seen in public in my bathers is bad enough, let alone having a lesson in a public swimming pool. Well, I have survived the regular embarrassment and gained some confidence in my swimming skills. I'm slowly on my way to getting fit.

This evening, my instructor, Maddy, announced that instead of a normal lesson, we would be cutting it short to have a game of volley ball, then have a go on the water slides! Eeek!

True to her word, the lesson ended early and Maddy marched us off to the kids pool for a game of volleyball. It was fun and great exercise. But there I was jumping around in a public place in my bathers (ugh!) 

Finally, she announced that it was time for the water slide. She wasn't kidding! She really wanted us to have a go. I have never been on a water slide before. Ever.

First of all, there's the whole bathers-in-public thing, ...then there's the loss of control / undignified thing. Two good reasons to avoid them. 

But tonight, I was confronted with the challenge of having a go. I am very proud to say that I did it! 

It was exciting, exhilarating, uncontrollable, fun and very very undignified! 

I don't want to know what I looked like when I came out the end of the slide and hit the water with a huge splash! It didn't matter. Everyone was having fun and laughing and being just as undignified. I went back for two more turns!

On the way home, the words of Matt Redman's song, Undignified popped into my head.

Inspired by the Bible verse 2 Samuel 6, the lyrics are:

I will dance I will sing to be mad for my King
nothing Lord is hindering the passion in my soul
I will dance I will sing to be mad for my King
nothing Lord is hindering the passion in my soul

And I’ll become even more undignified than this
(some would say its foolishness but)
I’ll become even more undignified than this
Matt Redman

Joseph Neil Adams writes more about this here 

This evening I experienced unexpected undignified joy. 

May my praise for my King be even more undignified! 

May I be brave enough to express myself freely in worship without being concerned about what others might be thinking.

candidating

It's been some time since I last blogged and a lot has happened, especially in relation to my call to ministry. Here is what I shared with my congregation (Tea Tree Gully Uniting) this morning.

You may be aware that over the last two years I have been spending time discerning whether God has a specific call on my life. I committed to a Period of Discernment, during which I met regularly with a mentor, did some study through the Uniting College, began preaching, tried ministries outside of this congregation, and journalled my experiences. Through this process I discerned a call to ministry…. A call to ordained ministry as a Minister (of the Word).

Before (our Minister) Phil Marshall left, we met several times and he helped and supported me in starting the application process. I also met with church council to talk about my sense of call. This began a new journey as I had to write my testimony (1000’s of words), including my spiritual development from childhood, select referees, have extensive medical and psychological testing, and then, finally meet with the ministers selection panel at the beginning of November.

This meeting with selection panel was an intense experience. It was held over 2 days, staying overnight at The Monastery in Glen Osmond. There were 2 hour-long interviews, personal presentations plus two different scenarios where I had the opportunity to show how I work in a team and my leadership style. The panel of 6 then met to decide whether the church is convinced that I am called to ministry and whether I am a suitable candidate.

Fortunately I didn’t have to wait very long. I received a phone call that afternoon to say that the panel decided unanimously to accept my application to candidate as a Minister.

This whole experience has been amazing. I have grown so much in faith, in understanding of who I am in Christ, and in self confidence.

I am now officially a Candidate, which means that the Church is committed to my preparation for ordained ministry. To begin,…I will need to study – I will enrol in a Bachelor of Ministry at Uniting College in the New Year.  I will also need to participate in spiritual formation days run at the College, and eventually, will need to go into a student placement in a congregation. But this is not likely to happen for at least 18 months or more.

With Paul, I have more decisions to make…. How much study will I take on? Will I continue working the same hours?

So, another new journey begins. I hope you will share that journey with me, and would very much appreciate your prayers for myself and for my family.

Eeyore

Following on from "The Wall", I received a surprise gift today from a lovely friend: Eeyore's Little Book of Gloom a book for those Eeyore-ish moments! I'm ever so grateful for this caring and thoughtful gift.

"If you follow your own footsteps... you'll only find the road to nowhere."

"Even if you think you have nothing  worth stealing... someone will  come along and steal your tail."

 Ahh, I feel the 'gloominess' lifting.

weekend away

Well, we had a brilliant long-weekend escape - a road trip to Melbourne with good friends.

We started off at SAYCO for a few hours on the Saturday. It was great to see a big team of enthusiastic young leaders and a few 'old hands' all working well together. Each year it gets a little easier for me to visit - I still miss it: the event, the people, the excitement. The hugs and the genuine welcome were lovely.

Then we were on the road to Melbourne....We spent what was left of Saturday on the road, stopping off overnight at Ballarat. Sunday was the big day:

• brunch with an old friend in one of many busy laneways full of cafes;
• ACMI at Federation Square for the Tim Burton Exhibition; 
• a wander around Federation Square, where they were celebrating Seniors Week(!) - why do seniors like country music and bootskooting?
• back to ACMI to see their exhibition of a history of moving images, TV, animation, special effects, social media, gaming - fascinating stuff
• checked into our apartment in South Yarra (by the railway line!)
• had dinner at a Greek restaurant - yum!
• watched the movie Alice in Wonderland, appreciating Tim Burton's creativity.

Then back in the car to drive home to Adelaide on Monday.

I really enjoy visiting Melbourne: the eclectic mix of architecture, artwork and people. So much to see and so stimulating.
The Tim Burton exhibition was excellent. For a few hours we were immersed in the art and creativity of this talented director and artist..."the creative genius behind Edward Scissorhands, Batman and Alice in Wonderland." He is heavily influenced by Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and Vincent Price. An interesting mix of horror and humour.
I was really interested in seeing how small ideas formed in his early years re-appeared and were adapted for use in different projects. It has inspired me to be more careful about keeping my own ideas.

It was a great weekend escape - quality time with friends and lots of creative stimulation. We returned home tired and happy. Now we need another long weekend to relax!

The Wall

I should be packing, or writing a reflection paper, or working on stuff for worship@Synod. Instead I'm in mega-procrastination mode.
Why? I've hit a wall. An invisible huge solid wall. It's called fear and self-doubt and tonight I've let it block my path. I know what's happening, I know it's illogical, but this wall is still there. I hope that typing this blog will make the wall crumble a little.

There are times when I'm prone to extremes of emotions: joyous, giddy, silly Tigger-type excitement but then other times, like now, I can be self-doubting, miserable and whingey - a bit like Eeyore.

Paul and I are going on a road trip this long weekend with friends to Melbourne. Hopefully, I snap out of this mood and return to a mild-mannered Tigger (I think a full-on Tigger might be a bit too much for the other passengers in the car!)

Enough of this self-doubt! Enough

End of PoD #6

Here is the final installment of my end of PoD report. Thanks for reading....

Calling – the result of my discernment
In December 2009, following my sermon at the 10am service at Tea Tree Gully Uniting, and the feedback received, I felt in my spirit that ‘this is what I am called to do’, as a vocation. That is, I felt called to ordained ministry. I shared this with a few trusted people who were very affirming and not at all surprised* by this news! (*Which was a surprise to me!)

This sense of call has not left me since that time. The Ministries in the Uniting Church course really helped to confirm this for me, by both confirming what I did not feel called to, and what I did feel called to. In particular I listened to the panel of deacons, hearing about their diaconal ministry. It helped me develop a greater appreciation for this area of ministry but confirmed for me that this is not where I feel my call is focussed.
I have applied to be a candidate for minister of the Word.

Conclusion
Now, at the end of 19 months of discernment, I am amazed at how much has changed in my life, particularly with respect to my own perception of my strengths and my self confidence. I am in a very different ‘place’ to where I was when I began. I am now in a place where my nervousness in relation to worship leading and preaching has dramatically reduced and my confidence, enjoyment and passion have greatly increased. There has been unsolicited affirmation from a broad range of people during my PoD. Through this time I have been blessed with many wonderful opportunities which have really challenged me and I have grown in faith and in understanding of who I am in Christ, and what He is calling me to. I am passionate about pursuing a call to ministry in the Word and keen to learn and soak up as much as I can wherever and whenever I can to help me achieve this goal.

End of PoD #5

My time of exile
After resigning from the position of Events Manager in the Presbytery and Synod Office, I gained employment working as an Event Coordinator for Novita Children’s Services. I remained in that role for 11 months, from September 2008 to August 2009. During this time I gained really helpful experience working in the charity sector, learning about sponsorship, marketing, event management professional practice and working in a secular workplace.

‘Exile’ may seem a strong word, but while I was at Novita, I was very keenly aware of my separation from the Uniting Church. Even though I was still involved in worship ministry at my local congregation, I experienced a profound sense of loss and grief, particularly from the gatherings of the wider church (Presbytery and Synod meetings, KCO and SAYCO).
I realised that I had come to love God’s people so much that I didn’t want to be separated from them. A number of factors caused me to consider leaving my employment at Novita, one of them being a lack of passion, meaning that I wasn’t willing to work in the stressful environment I was in at the time. I started looking back at the Uniting Church to see what opportunities might be available and applied for the Administration Assistant role at Uniting College. I was so willing to return to the Uniting Church community, and for a season, to find a role with reduced stress, that I applied, even though it would mean a significant drop in salary and therefore financial sacrifice for my family. Later, when looking back at this time, I journalled how much I love the people of the Uniting Church and how much I had missed them, and that I felt a strong sense of call to serve the wider church.

Last month, the Moderator Elect invited me to be his worship coordinator for the October Presbytery and Synod meetings during his term as Moderator. When he asked me, I felt again an overwhelming sense that this is what I am called to do.

Understanding of Ministry and Mission in the Uniting Church in Australia.
Having worked in the Presbytery and Synod office for over 7 years I felt that I already had a good understanding of the mission and ministry of the Uniting Church. My goal then was to develop a deeper understanding of this area. I did this through the course Ministries in the Uniting Church in Australia, which I did in Semester One this year and through participation in Professional Ethics in Ministry Settings. Ministries in the Uniting Church in particular was a helpful way to understand the different ministries, lay and ordained, and I had lots of opportunity to reflect on which areas I felt called to.


Coming soon... the last installment: Part #6 (Calling – the result of my discernment)

End of PoD #4

Thank you to all who have given me encouragement in sharing my PoD report. Here is Part #4:

Mentor and Personal Spirituality
At the beginning of my PoD, I considered carefully who would be the most helpful mentor for me and settled on Mark because I needed someone who was willing to ask me some tough questions, and to name any areas of concern. I have met regularly with him during my PoD and have found our meetings enjoyable and challenging. It has felt quite self-indulgent to be able to meet with someone and to be able to talk about myself for over an hour! Mark has asked some really helpful and tough questions, as I had hoped; challenging my understanding of my faith, my motivations for considering ministry, what ‘presses my buttons’ and why, how I feel about myself, my self esteem, my need for affirmation, and how much I believe that Jesus loves me. I’m really grateful to Mark for giving me his time, honesty and encouragement.

I participated in the Winter Retreat in 2009 and the Discernment Retreat in 2010. They were both really special times, learning more about and experiencing quiet times of prayer and reflection.

During my PoD I have journalled any relevant ‘lightbulb’ moments, highlights and challenges. These journal entries have been entered into a variety of resources including handwritten notes and my iPhone, depending on where I was at the time. For the purpose of the portfolio, they have been compiled in to a journal book.

I have taken advantage of the long daily commute from Tea Tree Gully to Brooklyn Park (up to an hour each way) to spend time with God as often as I can. Time is spent in prayer, listening to pod casts of a variety of Christian speakers, or listening to worship music. This regular time with God has helped me come closer to Him and be more aware of His purpose and guidance in my life.


Part #5 (My time of exile) coming soon...

End of PoD #3

Here's installment 3 of my PoD report...

Study
My goal for study during my Period of Discernment was to “gain a greater understanding of the Bible and what God wants me to learn about Jesus and what his message means for our world.” I can confidently say that I have done so through a combination of topics and sermon preparation.

I studied Listening and Speaking from the Heart by audit in May 2009 and found this to be a really engaging and helpful course to further develop my understanding and interest in pastoral care, having done a Pastoral Pathways course in 2008.

Through Semester One, this year, I studied The Living Water of Worship – Worship in the Uniting Church. This course was very relevant and helpful to my current ministry.

I also participated in the C-Change conference. I’m really grateful for this opportunity. I learned so much through the sessions, the bible studies and by soaking up what I could from the wisdom and experience of the ministers and pastors who were participating.

On reflection, I love study. I am eager to learn and soak everything up like a sponge. The biggest challenge for me was finding the time, and prioritising the little time I have to complete assignments. This is an area that I need to continue to work on. I am keen to continue studying and to work at a higher level.


part 4 (Mentor and Personal Spirituality) coming soon

End of PoD #2

It seems a bit strange... blogging while the rest of my family is sick with swine flu. But there's not a lot I can do, other than keeping my distance. So here's part 2...

Major influences in discernment and growth areas

Ministry experience
In addition to my ongoing regular commitment of leading worship once or twice a quarter at the 10am service at my congregation, my minister, Phil invited me to start preaching as part of my PoD. From terrified beginnings, I have come to love preaching and have been overwhelmed by the affirmations I have received along the way.
I was also invited to preach at Seacombe Uniting in June this year and Kersbrook Uniting in July. These were wonderful experiences where I worked with the local worship leaders to prepare the services in two very different churches.
Up to the time of writing this report I have preached 15 times.

In October 2009, I had the privilege to lead worship for the women’s Emmaus Walk at Nunyara - a 4 day, short-term faith community. This was a wonderful experience. I really enjoyed preparing the songs, teaching them to the team at training days prior to the Walk, then leading some very special times of worship.

My Minister, Phil also suggested that I lead a Bible study for a term. This is my current ministry focus. My small group, the Houghton Hillbillies, has been very generous in allowing me to lead them. I have really enjoyed this experience. Studying God’s Word together on a weekly basis, asking deep faith questions, sharing our pastoral needs and praying together for each other and others we know, are all regular practices for our group.

Another new experience, which I am about to embark on, is leading in the sacrament of Communion. The presbytery has licensed me, and the youth coordinator in my congregation, to preside over Communion, while we have no minister in placement. We have just been trained, and I am really looking forward to leading in this sacrament.

part 3 coming soon....

End of PoD

Well, I've been slack in the blogging department. Apologies!

I've just come to the end of my PoD (Period of Discernment).
So, I thought I'd share my report. It accompanies a much bigger quite detailed portfolio (2 ring binders full of stuff from the last 19 months).

Here is installment 1 of my report.....


Who am I?
My name is Linda Driver, I am married to Paul, and we have 2 sons, Matthew (18 years old) and Jeremy (15 years old). I am in my forties and have progressed through a few career changes from music performance and teaching, to stay-at-home Mum, to administration, to event coordination (in the church and in the charity sector) and now back to administration. I have also been significantly involved in volunteering, through producing major music festivals and a radio program on 5UV, involvement in kindergarten committees, running playgroups, stage managing and coordinating events, and training and mentoring others in this area.

I was brought up in the Catholic faith, and as a young adult found my way to forgiveness and a genuine living faith in God through church events and a small group linked to the Uniting Church. When my children were young, I became actively involved in ministry in my local congregation (Tea Tree Gully Uniting Church), when I could see a need for a program for pre-school children. I began a “Sunday school program” for 3 and 4 year olds, which was very meaningful for the children and their parents. After a few years my focus changed to worship ministry, starting with music, then leading worship. My passion for worship ministry grew and for 3 years (2007-2009) I was the Worship Elder. In the last year of this role, I became very unsettled for a number of reasons and felt it was time to hand the role onto someone else. I continue to be involved in worship ministry in other ways.

Who am I to ask such a question?
After a few people in my life asked if I had ever considered a call to ministry, and following a great deal of stalling and denial, I began a Period of Discernment (PoD) in February 2009. I chose to do this over a long time period (2 years) to give myself time to discern amongst the busy-ness of my life, which included fulltime employment in a stressful role, involvement in lay ministry as an Elder and family commitments.
I planned for this to be a time to take seriously the suggestions that I consider full time ministry. It was at a point when I was going through a change in employers and was re-evaluating my role in ministry within my local congregation and the wider church. I was flattered by suggestions from others that I had potential for ordained ministry but didn’t really believe it myself. Filled with self-doubt, I thought they were being nice, to encourage me, and found it hard to see myself in such a role. Like Moses (Exodus 3:11) and David (2 Samuel 7:18), I asked, “Who am I?” I did not see myself as ‘worthy’.
However, I was unsettled enough that I thought it was worth spending time discerning if there might be something in what they were saying. I wondered if my skills and passion for leadership and coordination and my passion for worship could be applied to ordained ministry or to a different ‘lay’ role in the church. By the end of my PoD, I hoped to have a clearer idea of which path of ministry God was calling me into as a Christian leader.

part 2 coming soon....

what a week!

In the last seven days, so much has happened. I am feeling incredibly blessed.

After much procrastination I finally finished preparing the sermon for last Sunday (July 11). I preached at the three services at Tea Tree Gully Uniting. I was given Matthew 23 as the bible reading and the theme of authentic Jesus: Jesus confronts the authorities....
Such a huge reading with so many directions to take. But I felt that I needed to speak about whether we can identify with the sin of the Pharisees... to ask the question of whether we might be hypocrites, hiding behind a mask of pretence. Confronting stuff. I had this idea of giving everyone a mask to wear, and gently giving them the opportunity to reflect on this. Then praying about it, and symbolically leaving the mask at the foot of the cross.
It went very well, and from the feedback received, God was at work.
My parents came to one of the services - a significant thing as they can now understand what it is I am feeling called to do. And they are excited for me.
...And, it was very cool to look out at the congregation, all obediently putting on party masks! A funny, yet poignant moment.

Then on Monday, the moderator elect of the Uniting Church SA (Rob Williams) came to visit me (me?!) at work and asked me (me!?) to take a lead role in worship for him during his time as moderator. A huge challenge, privilege and something I have felt God calling me to for quite some time. I took a few days to pray, chat to close friends and family, and sort out semester 2 commitments, then gave Rob a resounding Yes. I will have the opportunity to serve with Rob and his 2 chaplains (Lynne Aird and Tim Hein). Very exciting, very daunting.

On Wednesday evening I met with my (Tea Tree Gully Uniting) church council to ask them to support me in my application to candidate to be a minister of the Word. They were well prepared and asked lots of good questions. I felt that it went really well. I hope and pray that they will endorse my application.

Thursday and Friday were two long overdue days off. I spent them doing things for me:
- meeting with my mentor (always a positive yet thought-provoking and challenging experience);
- registering as a participant in the West Women's Weekend coming up in August;
- spending some quality time with my son, updating his wardrobe and getting some great bargains;
- taking my niece out for the day (highlights were a jewellery making lesson with beads and choc fondue at the Chocolate Bean)
- and celebrating the retirement of Heather Bald, a dear friend and gift to the church.

Finally I just spent a wonderful few hours with a lovely lady, Jo Cross, from Kersbrook Uniting Church. We are planning a service together, where I will be preaching at Kersbrook, on 25 July. I can't wait.

What a week!

So, now... to the mundane and important things... where's the mop?

peace

My daily devotion calendar* is a frequent source of inspiration for me.
Here is today's reading:

"Peace is such a precious gift from the Lord.... The presence of peace is the absence of confusion and strife.
Peace can also be defines as the deep and unshakeable conviction that all is well with your soul."

Peace be with you...



* Today is your best day. Devotional Thoughts by Roy Lessin

deadlines

Deadlines.... my friend and my enemy.

As a procrastinator, I rely on deadlines. With a deadline, I know when the 'last minute' will be. I can't help myself. I research, I talk, think and ponder, but I just can't put my thoughts onto paper in a coherent way until I feel a deadline fast approaching.
But then comes the enemy... the sheer panic. What if I run out of time to complete this thing? ..or printer ink? ..or paper?
It really is a love / hate relationship.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (Douglas Adams)

So here I am yet again, watching several deadlines woosh past...
Overdue assignments, sermon for 3 services this Sunday, a portfolio to compile, a church council meeting to prepare for, promises to keep..

and then I remember another quote from Invictus:
"We need inspiration: we must all exceed our expectations" (Mandela to Francois, the rugby captain)

and Philippians 3

¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

time to give it a go...

I've decided to join the blogging community and have a go. Not sure if anyone would be interested enough to read my ramblings, but, hey, I'll give it a go anyway!

My plan is to blog some of my thoughts, joys, challenges and surprises as I complete my POD and then, hopefully, continue along the path to formalised ministry in the Uniting Church.

I'm currently feeling quite overwhelmed with the many commitments I have coming up, along with a few overdue assignments. I need to find some motivation to focus myself, stop procrastinating and start writing.

On the upside, my Minister, who has just left our congregation, has been very encouraging and has given me some great parting advice to help me prepare for the months ahead.

a brief intro to blogging. 'til next time... Take care :)